🌿 Let’s Talk About Anxiety — The Roots, Not Just the Symptoms

Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people seek counselling — and it’s easy to understand why. It can feel overwhelming, confusing, and exhausting. But what’s often less understood is that anxiety isn’t just about surface symptoms like a racing heart, spiralling thoughts, or difficulty sleeping. Those are the signals — what we see and feel. But to truly support healing, we need to look beneath the surface. We need to explore what’s driving the anxiety in the first place.

What Are the Root Causes of Anxiety?

While everyone's experience is unique, here are some of the most common root factors I see in my counselling practice:

1. Unprocessed Past Experiences

Anxiety is often the nervous system’s way of saying, “I’m still on guard.” Many people with anxiety have experienced difficult or even traumatic events — sometimes in childhood, sometimes more recently — that left them feeling unsafe, powerless, or alone. When these experiences haven’t been fully processed, the body and brain can remain in a state of hypervigilance, ready to react as though the threat is still present. You might find yourself overthinking, avoiding, or always preparing for the worst — even when life seems "fine" on the outside.

2. Core Beliefs and Self-Perception

Beneath anxiety, there are often deeply held beliefs formed early in life, such as:

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I must stay in control to be safe.”

• “If I let people down, they’ll leave.”

These beliefs can create ongoing pressure and fear, fuelling anxious thoughts and behaviours. They often stem from childhood experiences, attachment wounds, or environments where love or safety felt conditional.

3. Nervous System Dysregulation

From a physiological perspective, anxiety involves the autonomic nervous system — particularly the fight, flight, or freeze response. For some people, this system is stuck in “on” mode, meaning their bodies are constantly scanning for danger, even in safe situations.

This is not a personal failing — it’s often the result of chronic stress, trauma, or environments where regulation and co-regulation weren’t possible.

4. Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, and Overfunctioning

Many anxious individuals are very good at appearing competent, helpful, and high-achieving. But often, these traits developed as coping strategies — ways to earn love, avoid conflict, or stay safe. Perfectionism and people-pleasing may have once been protective, but now they drive self-criticism, burnout, and internal tension.

5. A Lack of Safe, Supportive Spaces

Sometimes anxiety grows not because of something dramatic or traumatic, but because your emotions have never had a safe place to land. If you learned that vulnerability was weak, or that you had to “keep it together” for others, you might have internalised your struggles — and now anxiety shows up as the cost of carrying too much, alone. You may feel anxious because your nervous system is trying to do too much, with too little rest or self-compassion.

What Does This Mean for Treatment of Anxiety?

Understanding the root causes of anxiety allows us to move beyond just managing symptoms. In counselling, we work to gently:

• Understand your unique story and how anxiety has helped you cope

• Develop body-based tools to regulate the nervous system

• Identify and soften harsh self-beliefs

• Make room for emotions that were never welcomed before

• Reconnect with your sense of safety, value, and choice

Anxiety is not the enemy. It’s a messenger — often asking for care, protection, or healing from something deeper.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Anxiety may feel like it defines you right now, but it isn’t who you are. It’s a pattern — one that can be explored, understood, and shifted with the right support.

At Above the Waves Counselling, I offer a compassionate, evidence-based space to explore what’s underneath your anxiety. Together, we can work toward real, lasting change — from the inside out.